Updated: May 12
Do you often feel like people keep you at arm's length, yet you really want to get to know them better. Have others told you that they feel like you talk down to them, or just flat out say 'you're stuck up!"? Has this caused you grief or confusion because it's not true? There's a good chance that your Body Language is communicating these wrong messages and you're paying the price for it. What if one gesture, one adjustment was all it took to create engaged attention from the person you're with. Wouldn't it be powerful to recognize when the person in front of you is interested in what you're saying, or more importantly, if they aren't? If you understand 2 key concepts I can teach you, then you'd be able to check in with where the disconnect is. You 'd completely turn around an awkward moment with one body language adjustment. I'll share that in a moment. Do you want a deeper connection with loved ones? Are you finding it challenging to grow your client base? I can talk to you about this because it used to happen to me all the time. And it seemed the harder I tried to please, the worse it got. It was so stressed, in fact, that I searched out help. The harder I tried, the farther it pushed people away. They felt dismissed or even ignored by me. I was shocked by this discovery. Here's what I discovered. The most uncomfortable time in my life should have been my happiest. A busy career and teenage kids that didn't need me as much, so I had more time to myself, which felt lonely. That's when health issues started coming up. Long story made short, I was trying to fill a gap in my life and became a people pleaser. Looking back, I was always a people pleaser. In my search to feel better, I discovered what was called the body mind connection. I found myself at a health expo and sat in on a public talk about face reading. I sat right in the front row. What caught my attention was how the speaker talked to me. It was kind of edgey, uncomfortable. Like she knew me, or knew things about me, but I'd not met her before. It was intriguing, while it was annoying! So intriguing that I signed up for the course, not really knowing what I was in for. I was told I would 'make my body mind connection'. And that I did! I started to also to understand why relationships with co workers were often hard to keep. I learned dysfunction in families is more common than I realized, and my strained family relationships weren't actually my fault.
I learned life-altering tools that I still use every day, over ten years later. It was so impactful for me, I created a new life and a new career with it. I've been certified as an international teacher since 2012. I've obtained my Masters in Body Language Communication which taught me to read a face. I have been reading faces & body language across the country ever since. I've learned how people carry trauma in their body, often from childhood experiences. Sometimes from events, they don't recall. At a cellular level, the body carries all those memories. The happy, and the sad. It affects how you look, how you move and can even cause you to age. I always laugh when people say "Don't read my face, I didn't do my makeup". Face reading has nothing to do with how good your hair or makeup looks. Face reading teaches you to understand others from a deeper level that is nonjudgmental. It's not how you look that others are reacting to. They're responding to 'how you are'. Becoming aware of what message you're sending is the first step to gaining control of how others treat you. It's a powerful tool. Their reaction/behaviour has nothing to do with you! You're triggering something in them. It doesn't mean that it's not your fault, it's what I call a Red Flag. A red flag is a signal to you when someone is triggered. They will say or do something random, and it may seem to come from nowhere. This is when you would use your 'alignment correction'. An alignment is a powerful tool I teach my clients. When you're using this tool, no one is aware of you doing anything. You line up your physical body into it's actual natural alignment, from your toe point, up the spine, to the focal point of your eyes. The alignment brings a connection between you & those in front of you. When you're in alignment, those around you feel more connected to you. It teaches you how to be more engaged, not attached, through your body language. It also puts you into what I call, your 'Power Stand'. Which isn't anything threatening. It prevents you from feeling like a victim or being manipulated. It also lets others know that you're not a push over. Using your alignment can soothe ruffled feather, diffusing situations and creating more solution-based results. It can also create more engagement. Using your body's alignment as a tool for connection can often bring powerful results without having to say anything.
Here are a couple of tips I promised: Step 1: is using your body's alignment. Step 2 is using eye contact.
Here is how I do this myself. When the red flag goes up, I check to see where my alignment is, starting with my toe point. I make sure I am standing with my feet hip-distance apart, knees relaxed, toes pointing forward. Straighten my spine. relax my shoulders and make sure they're aligned above my hip joints. Unlock your knees, relax your arms at your sides. Do not cross your arms across your chest or your belly. Then, I look into the eyes of the person in front of me, and make sure my chin is level. Or as we say in yoga, 'humble'. Relax your face, soften your mouth. Focus on what's going on with you, in your body, not with them.
When I teach the alignment, we will spend a fair bit of time learning the nuances. It's a habit-forming 'posture'. The more you do it, the more it becomes your natural response. It slowly replaces the misalignment that is causing you to be misread right now. Remember being told 'DOn't make that face, you'll stay that way'. That's what has happened to all of us. That's also, your body mind connection. When you continue to do the alignment correction, over time you replace the traumas that you've been carrying around at a cellular level, with a stronger, healthier version of yourself.
Much Love & Alignment